JOYSTECHTOOL

This will be a short post. My New Year greeting is in the video above and in the Seattle Times Newspaper on New Year’s day. The article was written by Jack Broom, a Seattle Times Reporter. I have not seen it yet. I just know it was published in this Sunday’s edition of the Times. I do not even know the title. I wish to thank Jack for his efforts; and Celinda my director, supervisor and mentor for allowing him to photograph me at work and being patient during the process.

Since Jack first started writing the article I have been talking with seniors off the record. What I have learned is many upper middle class Americans are becoming seniors and moving into the lower middle class or into the lower classes, economically. I think many are trying to block out the pain of once having had good paying jobs and once having been active contributing members of society and are now finding they are struggling to get even a low paying job. I hear a certain amount of sadness and depression in the personal stories others have shared with me. I know they will never see print. So, it was an honor to reveal my age and situation to the metropolis we call “Seattle.” I would very much like to encourage feedback, when you have read the Seattle Times article in the paper.

I wish all of the people whose lives I have touched a Happy New Year. Should it end on December 21, 2012 as predicted, I know I will have lived my life to the fullest and have not been afraid to love the people who have come into my life during 2011. Each of you are a gift and treasure. If I could place a precious stone on a bracelet to signify having met each one of you, I would have a bracelet so heavy, I would not be able to wear it.

This New Year will begin with the opening of the new quarter at Bellevue College. It will be a busy time in the Welcome and Information Center. As the months pass, I will be putting together the curriculum I began last quarter for the chair of the Criminal Justice department. When I finish the internship, I will be looking for a new challenge. So I wish for all of us a safe, happy, fulfilling year. If we live it as though it were our last year on earth, by this time next year…we will have stored treasures far beyond what we might imagined.

I lift my glass with you and repeat the following toast:

Aisha Elderwyn: Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures. This year I challenge you to a new resolution. I challenge you to just be yourself.

I leave you with those words and the old year 2011. Let us march into 2012 together: with hope, with love and with justice!

Those of you who are on my Facebook know the Grinch almost stole Christmas this year. I was invited to go to my niece’s house for Christmas and did not make any other plans, since I told her I was coming. When I did not receive a phone call from her and it was Christmas Eve, I thought maybe she forgot to call me and confirm. Deep down I knew she would not call. Even though I left several messages, she did not call me back. So, I went to see the movie, the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, with my husband Christmas Eve. It was a shocker. A lot of sex and sick psycho activity. I would not have recommended it for Christmas Eve.

Christmas morning, I knew she hadn’t called and I better make plans. I searched the web for something open (restaurants) and serving on Christmas. I found the Palomino Restaurant in Bellevue. It only cost us $115.00 dollars. Ouch that took a chunk out of our pay check. When I was getting dressed to go, the power went out. So unable to dry my hair, I dressed and left the house with wet curly curly hair!. The wind was whipping the trees around and the house was already cold when we left for lunch.

We thought we might as well look for another movie to go to, after our tummies were full and our wallets were empty (almost). We did not know when the heat and power would come back on. Every movie we looked at in Bellevue and Overlake Park took at least another two-hour wait. So, we decided to go back home and make certain everything was okay. The power had come back on while we were gone. We looked at movies in Redmond and found one at just the right time, Sherlock Holmes: The Game of Shadows. I got a good parking place while Curt went into get the tickets. When I caught up with him, I found that the time was listed wrong on the website and we had another two-hour wait. The restaurants were all closed in Redmond, so we went back and exchanged the tickets for a movie I did not want to see, War Horse. It was actually a really good movie and we were glad it worked out in the end.

One thing I realized through this whole fiasco was that no matter what happened, I had my husband and we could find a way to enjoy Christmas.  So this morning, the day after Christmas, we got up and had breakfast out. Then we went grocery shopping. I got another call from the reporter Jack Broom at the Seattle Times, as my husband was loading our car. We had just come out of Fred Meyers. Jack needed to clarify some information. He had already taken my pictures on Thursday December 22nd at Bellevue College. I hate having my picture taken and they took about a half hours worth. My face ached from smiling. Nevertheless the deed was done. We are now waiting to see if it will get published.

Right now I am sitting in front of my computer thinking that had I worked on my curriculum during the last two weeks, I might not have become involved in the Christmas fiasco to begin with. Oh well, another year is just about gone, thankfully. I found good food, good friends and the love of family (my children and husband) once again. How could anyone ask for more? How very lucky I am!!

This video goes out to all of the people I have been working with in 2011. I hope no one is offended by a reference to a power or light that guides us.

I am registered with the Seattle Mayor’s Office for Senior Citizens (MOSC). Last week I got a message from one of the job counselor’s I work with at MOSC. He wrote an email stating a Seattle Times reporter was looking for seniors who would tell their story as to why they are still working or are job seeking and what the economic reasons might be. I decided to volunteer and was interviewed on Tuesday of this week. Whether or not what I told the reporter will ever see the light of day and whether I will agree with what he has to write, I have no idea. I simply wanted the people in Seattle who are looking for work and are older to have a voice. I know first hand how many barriers we face to get even a low paying job.

I live in a high-end manufactured home park. My neighbors are working well into their seventies and eighties.  A close neighbor was a school teachers for many, many years. She is now working in a local craft store framing pictures. She is on her feet most of the day. At 90, one of my neighbors still drives his RV and enjoys himself, while travelling in it. Almost all of my neighbors are active and healthy. They may have grey hair, but they are not sitting in a rocking chair waiting for death. They are living every moment of the life they have left. However, many of them have to work because of the high rate of lot rent we pay. It is almost double the area rate for this type of park in Washington. They have lost some of the money they invested and no longer are getting yearly cost of living increases in their social security checks. The cost of Medicare Part B has gone up and cuts into their expenses and some have student loans they are still paying. I am one of those people and will never be free of that debt.

Since I have been looking for a second part-time job teaching, I have heard every kind of discriminatory comment you can imagine. I do work part-time at Bellevue College. I had a director who hired me without concern for something as trivial as age (given the cut in state funds to the college, she has since been laid off). Most of the people I encounter say things like this for example, “…you don’t look that old.” I am still trying to figure out where that lack of knowledge about ageism is coming from. I cannot help but wonder what “that old,” really is. The bottom line in any case is, most people do not know what they are saying is ageism or discrimination. I think that is pretty profound. Why don’t they know? Why are Human Resource departments not conducting classes regarding this problem like they have for sex and race discrimination? Very possibly this is not happening because law suits are not being brought to their attention and may not be won even if they were.

I have run across an article called, “Don’t Let Them Know Your Old, ” written by Sally Harris. The article basically asks us why we are trying so hard to stay younger?  I scratch my head wondering why society thinks being old is a negative thing. Why are wrinkles, those signs of a lifetime of worry, laughter and loving so despised by the young and all those growing old? Granted I don’t much care for them myself, so I too have not grown past this attitude and ageist thinking. Nor do I think coloring your hair is such a bad idea. On the other hand letting it grow grey is not that unacceptable either. In fact it can be very attractive on most people. I think the thing we may be forgetting is the simple fact that no matter what we do to prevent aging, we are still aging in the end. It doesn’t mean, however, that we are sitting around dying and getting frail so others can take care of us.

Aging in the twenty-first century doesn’t mean we are not going to school and college and learning what our younger counterparts are in those classroom, whether virtual or not. We are going back to get more schooling in increasing numbers. My best friend, since she retired, just earned her bachelors degree after many years of trying to complete it. She did it online, too. So why have the younger generations come to worship at the fountain of youth, while we are sharing classrooms with them? In the article by Sally Harris, she writes that sociology professor Toni Calasanti, a Virgina Tech faulty member, believes academics do not want to think of themselves as growing older. As a result, as our country’s people continue to hit the age of 65 in the millions or 7000 people per day and by the end of 2011–41 million, “…we are facing a battle we are not armed to fight…” she writes. I think it is time we find our voices and sound a wake up call to the world’s people. Something needs to change!

Yes, Christmas is coming closer. Today we put up the Christmas decorations. At least, my husband did. The house has become magical. All the past Christmas trees and holiday celebrations pass through our minds when those lights turn on for the first time. My memories are full of winter snow and warm fires, with family gathered around. There was always a lot of singing and enjoying the best the holiday season had to offer. There was more food than we could possibly eat and presents around the tree. I love watching all the holiday movies that return to our HD TV at this time of year. I don’t think I will ever get used to the wonder of color in that electronic box. Christmas at my grandmother’s house is what those movies bring back to me.

Grandma would light the candles on the freshly cut pine tree sitting in majestic glory in her front room, on Christmas Eve. The spruce tree was freshly cut by grandpa that afternoon from the woods surrounding my grandparent’s home. The smell of freshly baked cookies mingled with the smell of pine from the tree brought a feeling of love and comfort. Their cat would be curled up fast  asleep on Grandpa’s chair. When dusk turned to pitch black, we would hear bells ringing, a knock on the door and Santa would enter carrying a huge bag of presents. Santa brought everyone a present. When they were passed out, each present was opened one at a time as we all looked on savoring the moment.

The presents were mostly homemade. Both my father and my grandfather had learned the art of wood-carving. They made the most beautiful hand carved ball and chains, ships in bottles, horses and animals and everything one could image carved, including soap. My dad was a carpenter and he would always have something he made for me. I loved the doll crib and the child-sized  kitchen cupboards he made  and left under the tree one Christmas.

My grandmother’s house was so warm and cozy, even though they did not have much money. In fact, my grandma was 86 years old before she had running water in her home. The furniture was made by my grandpa and dad or given to my grandparents by people who no longer had need for the old pieces. They were brought back to life with some fixing and paint. Grandma and my aunts sewed and knitted pillows and throws. The walls were decorated with my aunts paintings. Even though the kitchen chairs never matched and the table was worn with age, soft cushions were placed on the hardwood chairs, creating a splash of color. Soft pillow backs made leaning back on them a treat when we came in from playing in the snow. From the beams above the kitchen table summer flowers hung upside-down to dry. When they were ready artistic bouquets would be placed lovingly in the house.

The floors were covered in colorful rag rugs grandma had made from left over material or from old clothing no longer used. The beds were covered with soft, thick and warm quilts that were handmade by my aunts and grandma during long afternoons together. The curtains were handmade and every corner of the house had some magical artistic touch. Since grandpa was a painter, the walls were always freshly painted with subdued colors that complimented the furnishings. When I hear the words “old-fashioned Christmas,” my grandma’s house comes to mind in all its homespun glory, especially during the Christmas holidays.

The thing I loved the most and remember the clearest is my aunt’s paintings. She was an artist and had a studio behind my grandparents house, where she lived. When she was a young girl she contacted polio. Her spine was twisted and it caused her to be hunched over, much like the “hunchback of Notre Dame.” My aunt must have been self-conscious; because she only came out of her studio on special occasions and at Christmas. She tried to hide herself in painting smocks. I never saw her in the way she might have seen herself. I saw the most beautiful delicate creature God had ever created. Everything about her was graceful and artistic. Her face was angelic; but I love her hands. They were the tools she used to create breath-taking pictures that should have been shown in an art studio

The beauty she once had in her body became apparent in the vivid life-like paintings she created. She painted just about everything you can imagine. She sold her paintings one at a time to help support my grandpa and grandma. Many of my grandma’s favorites were hanging on the walls of her home. Living in the world she created for herself must have been somewhat lonely. However, I know she loved to paint and that love came through in everything she touched. I often wondered if she was an angel sent to keep my grandparents safe and cared for. I suppose I will never know the answer to my question.

Because my Grandma and aunts were good at sewing and knitting, they sewed many great presents, including my doll’s bedding and clothes.  All the Christmas ornaments were painted by my aunt, as were the soap carvings. I still remember her Christmas ornament paintings, each a marvel of color and beauty. She would give one of them to my mom at Christmas in a carefully wrapped box. They were always a treasure and were hung on our tree at home. I think my aunt taught us to love art and see beauty in everything, no matter how old or damaged. In her eyes everything had potential and could be made into a thing of art and beauty, with a little fixing up. Most of all she taught us to love nature.

I remember looking through the frost edged windows with my brother and cousins.  We would see the snow covered hills and the green pines dotting the horizon. Often the moon would be hanging bright and promising in the night sky. Maybe the most beautiful thing about Christmas was the amazing white of the snow outside, while the crackling fire and sparkling candles warmed us in the house. Outside in the fenced pasture, Grandpa’s old Morgan horse was eating the hay grandpa had left for him earlier in the day. As we looked out into that wonderland, sometimes, we would see deer eating in the pasture along side grandpa’s horse. It was always a treat to hear wolves howling in the winter night, as the moonlight bounced across the snow making it sparkle like millions of diamonds on a blanket of white.

After the presents had been opened, everyone would gather in grandma’s kitchen, where her wood burning cooking stove would be sizzling and popping while heating water and milk for hot chocolate and the coffee pot simmered next to grandma’s cast iron tea kettle. That old wood burning stove always seemed to have something baking in it. The freshly baked cookies would be passed around and the bread would be placed in their baking spot. Fresh baking bread aromas would fill the air as we sat around listening to our grandparents stories. At the same time the teapot whistled its familiar tune, coffee aromas slowly rose from the pot’s spout to fill the air with its scent, intermingling with the smell of fresh baking bread.

Warmer than the coffee, are the sweet memories of my grandfather and grandmother’s Swedish accent which helped bring the stories they told, around that table, to life. They would tell us stories about life in Sweden and the Christmas experiences they had shared with their families in the “old country.” I would intently watch my grandpa as he told those stories. I am certain my lips were curled in a smile as I watched him with my elbows on the table and my head resting on my arms. I was intrigued by the way he would pour his coffee on the saucer to cool it and then nosily slurp it, between sentences. I was amazed at the amount of sugar lumps he plopped in that cup before pouring it in the saucer. I hear those stories and clearly see my grandpa again, when I watch the Christmas movies on TV. All those sweet loving memories are still alive because I am. How quickly those scenes pass from this earth, along with those we love.

There seems to be so much less this year. Gone are the loving relatives…who have long since passed into the realm of Christmas past. Gone are the softly falling snowflakes and the wonderland of Minnesota skating rinks, sledding hills and snow ladened pine trees and iced over lakes. My children are grown and live a long way from me. All I have left of my own mom is a little white church that has a light inside and a crank to turn to hear the song “silent night.” I have those cherished warm memories of all my loved ones.They bring the same warmth to my heart, the crackling fire and candle lite Christmas tree did at my grandparent’s home all those years ago.

The reality today is the holidays are leaving me little time to work on my module building. Nevertheless, they are progressing nicely. I met with my mentor this week and my internship coordinator. I know they are pushing me to succeed and be the best I can be. I am very thankful I have my job at the college and this project to keep me busy and learning, while I prepare for this one special day of joy and love. If I had one wish, I would wish there was roofs over every head in this world and enough food on the table. But, the reality is children in this country and other countries are starving and people do not have roofs over their heads this time of year.

There is no peace on earth and very little good will toward men. But, I believe in Christmas magic and believe there could be. I believe in the spirit of Christmas. I believe there are loving hearts in this world; and we only need to look to see all the good that is happening not only during this season, but all year long. Maybe there is not quite enough good to go around, but there could be. I will be forever grateful for the family I have had and the creature comforts I have enjoyed. Most of all I will always remember the love of family and those “old fashioned” old country Christmas memories.

I have put the last picture in for my family who may read this blog. Especially for my granddaughter who loves to hear about the family stories.

My mom took me to see Santa Claus at one of the department stores while we shopped for Christmas presents in St. Paul, Minnesota. Apparently I was quite busy telling Santa what I thought we needed. One of the fun things I received that Christmas was a white muff for my hands. I think I must have loved Santa’s white cuffs on his jacket. I have two Christmas trees like the one in this picture…except they are fiber optic. Those are the only trees I put up at Christmas; but  we have a lot of lights!

The picture of the stove was taken from the following blog. The snow scene was on this site link. Other pictures were taken from Microsoft Online.

I have been struggling to use the Haiku LMS. The biggest problem I have run into is the lack of good formatting tools. I have worked for hours trying to get my pages formatted correctly. The most difficult task was placing my rubric into the page. I am learning as I go and it is very time-consuming. I have a whole new appreciation for Bellevue College’s Blackboard Vista. While I am struggling with Haiku, I am loading my course pages into Bb Vista. It is so easy to do this in that system! I have posted a video for your viewing on the Haiku system and how to use it.

Haiku does have its good features too. Loading video and etc.is much easier than any free system I have experimented with. I especially like the simplicity. I think because it was built to be used in a grade or high school environment, it is user-friendly. I am including a video that shows how easy it is for a student to build an ePortfolio in Haiku.

Using it as an instructor is that easy as well. I am including a video that shows you how to use the text box. I have added more sophisticated text into my pages, since they are module pages and activities in my module. The limited formatting was a stumbling block. I did master it however. It just takes more time.

The Haiku system is so easy for students to learn and use. It is an open source system that has amazing potential for future improvement and development. I think if there were more formatting features available, my problems would be solved. While it seems to be used in grade and high schools, it would be very applicable for college students working with modules rather than subjects, for example. Building my modules took more time because of the formatting, as I stated earlier; but adding content that was audio or visual was extremely easy.

I have used the Haiku LMS system to showcase my hybrid course. I am show casing Haiku as well, since I think it is the best open source system I have found to-date.   As I have stated, it is fairly easy to use for students of all ages. Instructors will find it lends itself quite well to every kind of course need they might have. I think the only feature the creators need to improve it is what I have stated earlier…it needs more formatting features.

I have not used many of the features available in Haiku. I hope to find out more as I continue to load my module contents to the pages. Another frustration, I have encountered, is located in the Windows 7 security system. If you load a file, a security bar appears that cannot be disabled asking you if you want to upload the file. No one knows how to disable the pop up security bar, I would be very appreciative of a post to my comment area on how to do it!

Since I have loaded several videos into this post for viewing, I will keep this entry short. I hope you truly consider using the Haiku LMS system for your open source classes. I think you will enjoy the adventure, in spite of the challenges that are in the system; but could easily be fixed without a whole lot of effort. Once again, I love the challenges and frustrations! It keeps me interested and helps me push the system to find its limitations.Finally, since the course I am proposing to teach is an entry introductory level college course, Haiku’s ease of use would encourage students and instructors to give hybrid and on-line courses a try.

Thanksgiving was a feast. Family gathered and shared with each other the blessings of the holiday. Christmas is just around the corner and the holiday shopping has already begun. The stores are full of people, some pushing and shoving to get what they can. The news told us the stories of Black Friday, where people forgot the meaning of the word “peace.” Not all people, of course. We are desperate American shoppers trying to find things that our budget can tolerate, cost wise.

I am not a shopper. I give to the different charities that so desperately need help and wonder how much they are actually giving to the people needing it. The Northwest Holiday food drive will be in the Redmond Town Center on Saturday. When I saw their warehouse stacked with pallets of food (on the news), I wondered if all that food goes to the seniors and needy families like it is suppose to.

In Olympia the politicians meet to decide how many people will not get the money they so desperately need to survive. The protesters are in full force; but their voices will not be heard. The cuts will be made and the needy will suffer once again, this Holiday Season. I think some people think I am a “bleeding heart” liberal. I think I am just a mother who sees children and parents suffering because of something they have no control over, the economy. Among the deeper cuts proposed are cuts to educational institutions in this state. How sad. At what point are students willing to protest and why do they always seem to turn violent with the policing authories winning?

This weekend, I watched in horror, for the third time, at the pepper spraying of peaceful University of CA-Davis students  and donated to the TV station willing to speak out against the policing agency responsible. How can any parent or teacher or professor watch that incident and not respond? It was a peaceful demonstration and well within the rights of the students protesting, per the U.S. Constitution. I could not believe what I was seeing. The students were chanting “shame on you” and showing the world once again the type of brutality we are capable of. No…these students are not children; but my heart went out to them just the same.

As I am building the modules for Chapter 2, I have taken the time to review this incident. I remember when these types of incidents happened during the Nixon Administration. The thought came to mind, “…those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” These words were spoken by Winston Churchill and George Sanayana.”  The full quote from The Life of Reason (1905-1906) by George Santayana is:

Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. When change is absolute there remains no being to improve and no direction is set for possible improvement; and when experience is not retained, as among savages, infancy is perpetual. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

I think we all should ponder those words as we re-think the incident at Davis and what it really means for all of us. It is very hard for me to understand the brutality of the police using military grade pepper spray on students. I think the students said it best, “..the whole world is watching you!.” The next video was my reaction as well, I take my hat off to this ex-Marine for telling it like it was.

I have come from a military family. Both my step-brother, my brother and my husband (a U.S. Marine and eventually U.S. Army Officer) were Vietnam veterans. Two of my children served during Desert Storm. They swore an oath to uphold the U.S. Constitution. The protesting students at UC-Davis did not have guns, they had no weapons, they held no rocks. They simply sat in peaceful protest exercising their rights as American citizens. I have only one comment, “…shame on you.” The comic strip author, of the comic strip Pogo,  Walt Kelly stated on Earth Day 1970, “…I have met the enemy and he is us.”

The Pogo cartoon might be telling us something about Wallstreet. Could it be…you can cheat just so much before you have to pay up?

Thanksgiving is just four days away. The picture, taken from this  Microsoft site, reminds me of all the turkeys on my table over the many years I have lived. This year I am going to be with family. It will be a long drive. We will spend two nights in a small trailer and drive home on Friday. There will be every kind of food, traditionally served, with the main focus on the turkey. All day those delicious smells will remind me of the millions of people who will not be sitting down to such a feast.

I made a call to my friend in Chimbote, Peru’s barrio on Saturday morning. Those Peruvians will not celebrate thanksgiving and no turkey with trimmings will arrive at their door. The poverty there is unbearable. In the news letter I receive this time of year, every year.  In them Padre Juan Davis writes, “…Two of our gang rehabilitation centers are now prevention centers for children, to help keep them out of the lifestyle of older family members. Since we believe that education is the key to getting out of poverty, it is the focus of our programs.” I am hoping to go there when I am well enough to travel to a country like Peru. I am hoping I will be able to teach in one capacity or another. Those are details to be worked out eventually.

Fr. Jack Davis and Sr. Peggy were the driving force behind my learning to teach. I taught religion and ethics to children in catholic parishes for many years. Fr. Jack let me fill in for his high school class when he had to be away, in Fargo, North Dakota. We got to know each other very well. He helped hide my children and gave me a place to stay that was protected (in a parish house in Minot, N.D.) until my divorce became final and the law would protect me against my batterer. There were few shelters at the time and they were not located in North Dakota. During the time I stayed in Minot, Fr. Davis was preparing for his mission to Peru. I spent many hours helping file and store much of his paper work. His legacy to me was moving and nudging me toward obtaining a university education, which I achieved a few years after he left the United States. He was the closest thing to a brother and mentor I ever had. He was and is an honorable man, unlike what we have been hearing about Catholic priests in the press for the past several years. Through Fr. Jack, I have met many men that are ethical and moral, while wearing that collar.

Yesterday, I began to load Bb Vista with my modules. Every suggestion I have made as far as what might help in the learning process online has been discarded. The content design is that of the person who might or might not use the site once it is completed. While I am creating the design that is being placed in the system, that too might be changed as well. The project is moving along though. I have my next meeting with Robin on Monday.

Since little of what I have learned in the certification program has been used…actually nothing, I am content to learn every aspect of the Bb Vista system. I know it is going away and a new system will be adopted by next Fall at BC. However, they are all a lot alike. The open source Learning Management Systems are simpler, but somethings are lost, while others are gained. I think Haiku will lend itself to what I want to do with it. I do not think I will finish my course, before the internship ends. Nevertheless, I do know how to go about building it. That was what I wanted to know.

I am beginning to see that any idea I might have had about obtaining an advising position is dead in the water. Chances are, obtaining a teaching position is equally questionable. Maybe the one reason older adults are even considered for a position is-when they are seen as “…a solution to the employers problem, states the author of a blog called, Retirementrevised. I think that is something worth working on. I once thought I could not learn how to use Bb Vista in just three hours of training. Once I started using it, I realized it was not that difficult. In fact, it was not much different from creating my website on Google; where I have placed my ePortfolio.

The one thing I did not learn or do during my doctoral studies was…take a TA or teaching assistantship. I had most of my education paid for until my doctoral studies started. Then, I borrow the $15,000.00 which I have been paying on for the past fifteen years and will never pay off. It is over $55,000.00 now. I realize, I may never get another opportunity to finish my doctorate. Money was and is the biggest challenge; but, I could learn the skills I need to teach. I am currently doing that. My professor once told me, “…it is not the getting there that counts…it is the journey.” I think I see the wisdom in those words. Learning is a process and a journey and maybe we never really arrive at the destination.

With renewed faith that some spirit or force just beyond my ability to comprehend is moving me toward a destination, I keep plugging away at the internship…no matter what is happening in the process. I know that there will be a good end in sight. Once I have those skills of building a course and can eventually teach, there may be a purpose to it all.

Where did my time go? I have had an interesting week after my meeting with Charlene on Wednesday. I think it depicts where I am with this project. I was hoping to have completed Module 3 by now and I am still working on the Syllabus!  Thanksgiving is knocking at the door and everything I thought I knew at work is changing. Pressure is pushing me toward working as quickly as I can; but still I am falling behind. I have most of the course worked out; but still need information from Charlene, who is very busy, to push further. She wants only a discussion place and a place to post the lessons for the week (online modules). Most of what her class is about is the “Classroom.” This is her choice and she is free to make them, because she is far more aware of her students needs than I am,since I have not taught her class. I don’t necessarily agree with her on some issues (althought she is the expert); so I am building my own curriculum and finding my own LMS to put it in. Just another frustration!

I have found a new place for my own course called “Haiku.”  I think it will work well with my ideas of how a hybrid I design would be taught with very limited classroom time. Most of my ideas have come from the experts in the field of online teaching. I spent one year taking 3 credits each quarter.  However, I read far beyond what was being offered and explored every thing I could get my hands on. So, I am building my course, while I working on Charlene’s. Robin is less involved in what I am doing when it comes to content. Charlene is becoming more involved since it is her course design with some feedback from me. I have a great respect for her thinking.

While I am doing this work for Charlene and during this internship, I am expected to look for positions that are full-time. There are a few that I would consider.  The question is, will they consider me? The more involved I get with the new position I am working in, in advising, the more I see that position as a type of teaching position.  I intend to apply for it!  What I am doing now is kind of wasting of my degrees (so whats new here). I like what I see in the advising field so far.  I especially like the person that is the head of that area. She was a U.S. Army family member and we have that experience in common. I truly like her style so far. I know she is someone I would trust.

My dear friend of some almost 10 years came back from Maryland. We had some “girl time” on Saturday. She dropped out of her masters program and has too little money to stay in the matured person apartment she is living in.  She wants to go live with her son, but is beginning to see that will not work out as well as she had hoped. Of course, I want her to stay in this area. But, her money is too tight for her liking, since they raised her rent, but her income is the same She is also paying back her student loans! She can no longer work. Her arthritis is getting too bad, among other things.

My oldest daughter graduated from college in October 2011, after some 12 years of going to school. She graduated with honors from Belmont Abbey College. She served in the U.S. Army during Desert Storm and had accumulated benefits.  However, going to a private catholic college was expensive and now her student loans are due.  She makes slightly above minimum wage at Lowe’s in North Carolina and doesn’t have the resources to pay them back. Her hours were cut to part-time due to the economy. Her son is living with her, he is 17. Unfortunately, he isn’t as motivated as his sister to get started on a career after high school. He has been looking for a job for two years and still hasn’t found one.

Both my daughter and I believe in college as a way to improve oneself and one’s chances for employment.  That doesn’t seem to have worked for either of us in this economy (or before in my case, since I was over 45 when I hit the job market). I borrowed $15,000 dollars for my doctoral studies and now owe $55,000, which has been paid on since 1995. I still owe $55,000 or slightly over that amount. It will never be paid off. They can take it out of my social security checks when I stop paying on it. My oldest daughter is getting closer to 50 years old and I fear she will lose her home, if she doesn’t find a better paying job.  There is no “bail out” for students…no matter the age.

The three videos below are worth the time it takes to watch them (about 15 minutes for all three). Students of all ages are being squeezed by the government, banks and collection agencies.  I was told to take any job to pay off my debt by the collectors for the Department of Education. I did; but I found myself homeless more than once, when I did not have enough money to live on. Each time this happened to me, my confidence was shattered. It only takes a few nights sleeping in the cold and being homeless to get the picture. We are becoming a slave class to the government and bankers because we went to college or the university to better ourselves. This is the case whether we are 22-102 years of age. We are asked to pay these loans even when age discrimination blocks us from working, because we are older adults.

The beauty of fall is everywhere. I don’t remember the colors being as beautiful last year, as they are this year. I have enjoyed the sunny days and lack of rain, especially today.  The murky dark days of winter loom just beyond the horizon, as I look toward the ocean.  The image was taken from Microsoft Online and only the birch trees are missing in Washington country scenes.

I have not had much contact with my team and it is keeping me from moving forward with the curriculum design. The team is very busy with their courses and students so it is understandably. Right not I am dead in the water, so to speak. I am getting anxious because I only have so many weeks to finish the project. The design my chair person wants is more of a web enhanced hybrid course. She really loves to teach in the classroom; and I think moving beyond this type of hybrid is not what she wants to do. Since her students don’t want to pay the new parking fees that started this fall, she is trying. I give her A for effort!

I am meeting with my mentor on Monday. I did not meet with either Charlene or Robin last week and my work is on hold until I know what direction Charlene wants to go in and if she has accepted my proposals. I am hoping she will accept all of the suggestions. Since only one hour is online work, it remains to be seen how much she will want the students to do online. I am holding my breath.

I now know I can teach online. I know I can design a course. There are so many changes taking place at work at BC, I don’t know if I will ever be given that opportunity. Part of our enrollment department has now been moved to the advising department and a few people were laid off.  We are now a part of the advising department and working in the Welcome Center. I wonder if they are thinking about laying me off. My desire is to teach and hopefully they see I can do both. I know they (BC) has said they would not hire me, since I do not have classroom teaching experience. Does this mean my job in advising will soon be over? I can only hope that is not the case. My life is on hold for the moment. I do not know what direction they will move, except forward and onward!.

In the past every holiday…either my husband or I were laid off and without a job. Thanksgiving is quickly approaching and I wonder if we will have the money to buy a turkey. I dread the thought of Christmas.  This is usually the worst season for us. Every day off means we do not get paid. The bills keep coming; but the money stops. We usually try to give money to others at this time of year. I am wondering if I will have any for anyone. As always I have to depend on a higher power and the BC management.

This post is short. I really am hoping I will get through all of the designing. I did go to a session on Elluminate/Collaborate for Instructure Canvas and decided I like my Bb Vista site better.  I did not like the look and feel of Instructure Canvas and the level of difficulty was amazing. In Bb Vista I can change a few things to make the site look more inviting. In fact, I am beginning to think Bb Vista at BC is still a head and shoulders above anything on the market.  Each LMS has a few features; but none of the applications so far are easy and user friendly. The new applications do have a few more Web 2.0 features. I cannot understand why they are so difficult to use. Come guys…give me something I can really get behind and promote! I found the following blog and these are my thoughts to a “T.” I hope you have a chance to read the blog.

I am including a video of a LMS that I hope to check out this week. I need to figure out what it has to offer.

Happy Halloween! (Retrieved Image from Microsoft Online)

This week my nightmare is gone or one could say, it was never really there.  It was a way to look at the world to face real life problems brought on by stress. Going to school is creating a few financial problems I cannot resolve. Furthermore, I am under a lot of stress trying to create a course an instructor will use.  Working as part of a team means, I cannot accomplish the task on my own. That is pretty scary… because I am not in total control of the project. One the other hand, it is like working with a safety net. Most likely, the team will not let me fall to my death so to speak. It takes a lot of trust and in that area I am a few quarts short.

I suppose most survivors have to learn to trust again.  In my case, I do it very infrequently.  I do not like giving others power over me if I can avoid it. Anything I have succeeded at was done mostly through my own efforts. Some of those efforts were almost super human. Any time I have failed, it was partly because of others. I re-learned that lesson when I was part of a team in one of my certification program courses. I react pretty strongly to being devalued. I spent a lot of years being treated as though I had nothing of value to offer.  I spent a lot of years being battered into compliance. This has been especially true in the workplace.

So, I need to get my team working with me to develop the course for Charlene. She is the person using the Bb Vista site and teaching in the classroom. Most of the content will be determined by her. I have presented her with the syllabus. Obviously it was only a first draft; however, to be on schedule and complete this project in time, I have to depend on the time she can spend with me. Needless to say, she is a very busy person.

I have decided what tools might be useful to Charlene and will now wait until she responds to my offerings. Next, I need to start setting up modules.  This means I need to create files to upload to the Bb Vista application. I need to know what content Charlene wants in them. I will be meeting with Robin this week to clarify a timeline and to find out if I am on the right track.

The hard work is just around the corner. I will need to create a course for Charlene, at the same time I create a course for a potential employer, that I can teach. I am using a free application by Bb Vista and dislike it already. Each entry has to be read and then tweaked to get it right. I don’t like how it sets up; but it is a bit more user-friendly than Instructive Canvas, which I first hoped to use. I really like Wikispace; but it is open to the public and much easier to copy. I want the intellectual property to be mine and protected.

I keep trying to figure out how I can manage to show a potential employer that my work is designed to focus on the learner and not the instructor. Many instructors may differ on the whole concept of on-line teaching and “best practice.” I have chosen to try to teach again, because I do find the idea of constructivist thinking adequate.  I want to teach in an environment that uses technology and Web 2.0. Why?  Because I have done it the other way through out my studies and didn’t like it. I don’t want to exclusively lecture, present power points and make my students power down.

I want my students to be self-directed learners and have the skills they need to face the technologies they will have to work with in the future. I want to prepare them to keep working and growing on their own through such things as personal learning systems (PLS). Teaching is changing and I think many instructors are going to fall through the cracks unless they change their thinking. Institutions are far too conservative for their own good.  Less money from the state and tight budgets will drive colleges to move toward more on-line courses. Who will teach these courses?